Few simple 'point and click' steps to free and easy computing (Use your Windows CD as a frisbee next summer!) 
1. Download Ubuntu 7.10 - Supported to 2009--> http://www.ubuntu.com/getubuntu/download
2. Install linux for human beings --> https://help.ubuntu.com/community/Installation
3. Update everything (you will see the popup suggesting you to do it)
4. Add Nvidia drivers (if you have the HW) --> https://help.ubuntu.com/community/BinaryDriverHowto/Nvidia#head-7192e75555e2fa307b2ee7415a0367b58a9fe866
5. Configure your Display model/resolution/etc --> http://www.ubuntu.com/getubuntu/releasenotes/710tour#head-2d0811b3b8c817b91088ff553930e10e4fc04fc5
6. Add support for nonfree music/video/dvd/flash/java formats --> https://help.ubuntu.com/community/RestrictedFormats
7. The coolest (and working) Eye Candy you'll ever need for your desktop --> https://help.ubuntu.com/7.10/desktop-effects/C/compiz-configure-advanced.html 
8. Install k3b, k9copy and what not via synaptic or add/remove programs
9. Related links: 
http://www.ubuntu.com/getubuntu/releasenotes/710tour
https://help.ubuntu.com/7.10/
https://help.ubuntu.com/community/UserDocumentation

What was needed? Atleast not command line =)